Based upon research
Nostalgia means I’m lonely
Brokeback makes me laugh
Sep
15
Sep
14
A New Role Model for Success
I’ve spent weeks researching, interviewing, and stalking potential new role models for my life. When one chooses a role model, it is important that all necessary qualifications are met and the person is such that all mortals aspire to be him.
Most logical persons would choose one of the great superheros of the day like Superman, Wolverine, or Quailman. All have their redeeming qualities from other-worldly strength to built in forks to the ability to wear their underwear outside of their pants. Each is a perfectly logical choice for a young man in the prime of his growth (of maturity) spurt.
Unfortunately, none of these is a good fit for me in this fragile stage. Folks, for me choosing a new role model has been a rough process. I needed to find a person that I can emulate in all ways to make myself more desirable for Elin. One whom women want and men want to be. I believe I have found that man. He’s none other than……
Sep
09
For my money, It doesn’t get any better….
than getting to write a blog that expresses my feelings towards getting a date with Elin.
After taking a week hiatus for bettering myself, (evidentially I’m mature enough to focus my efforts on this school thing, Ugh…) I think it’s time that I posted this weeks song of the week.
In honor of this music legends upcoming performance in Phoenix, I feel like it is necessary to utilize one of the his all-time greatest hits. As you know, I’m always looking for songs that best illustrate my feelings and hopes for actually getting a date with the beautiful Elin Nordegren. I’m happy to say that this weeks SOTW does not disappoint in this effort.
Sep
08
Lord Loves a Workin’ Man, Elin Should Date One
Hey there folks.
First I gotta say thanks to everyone for the support. Bradley’s never been happier. That being said, he looked at himself in the mirror (a good, hard look) and decided he need to improve to win the heart of Elin. Therefore, he’s been on a bit of a hiatus bettering himself by putting in work, and asked me to step in for a testimonial of why Bradley should be the new Mr. Nordegren. Never fear, he’ll be back soon, once he’s able to look in that mirror and this happens:
Or in a few days. Either way, we’re all in for a wild ride.
So what can I tell you about Bradley? Everything. What to tell you? Well thats a much different question.
Bradley and I have known each other for two years and lived together for one. In that time span he hasn’t had any restraining orders taken out for him, nor contracted any VD. I’d say he’s pretty much batting 1,000 and is a perfect catch for Elin. But what I really want to do in this post is talk about Bradley’s love for children and why he’d be a great father figure for her children.
First, look at that mustache. If that doesn’t scream “good with children,” I don’t know what does. Frequently, when we lived together, Bradley would load his van up with candy and go “fishing for” area kids (I never said he was good at English, as I’m sure he meant “with”). Such a philanthropist. He always told me how beautiful the neighborhood children were, and how he would like to show them a great night. I don’t know many people that caring in this world.
This undying love for children will make Bradley a great father. The epitome of a man, Bradley would show the kids how to be the master of their own domain (because thats one thing he’s great at), and teach them how to respect others regardless of their situation (see above paragraph). I’m sure Bradley would love every day of his life dedicated to these children, and be happy to just stay at home alone with them while Elin was working or spending her new found riches.
So there you have it Elin, Bradley would be your best bet as a new father figure in your children’s lives. Use the contact bar to get in touch.
Also friends, if you have anything else you’d like to know about Bradley, fire away in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer.
Sep
02
Wowie Zowie! and a Contest for you! and Haiku Humpday
Wowie Zowie!
First off, let me just say that I am absolutely flattered the course of events over the past 12 hours.
As many of you know, Jimmy Traina over at SI.com put a quick reference to this site in his morning edition of Hot Clicks in the Extra Mustard section of SI.com. When I read this, I couldn’t believe it. I’ve been a loyal follower of Hot Clicks for a long time. Personally, If you want a quick and dirty rundown of pop culture and sports, I’m not sure there is much better. To be featured in my favorite blog of sorts is amazing.
To be absolutely honest with you, I never really thought anybody outside my group of friends would find this little endeavor amusing. But as a result, I think it’s probably best if I actually try and do some good for someone else. In the next couple weeks or so, I’m going to try and find a charity to support.
For now, I want to give all of the new readers a chance to share their input. It is well documented within my group of friends (soon to be on here) that I am actually terrible with the ladies. I genuinely mean well, but I always tend to trip over my own feet (literally AND figuratively) at some point and wind up empty handed and starting from scratch.
What I need from you is suggestions for stories, themes, and actions that I can take to avoid bungling whatever small chance I have to actually go on a date with Ms. Nordegren. I’m also going to need some motivation…which leads me to the first contest:
Motivational Posters:
I am charging you with creating the most motivating poster possible to keep me going when times get tough and all hope seems to be lost. In order to get through, I’m going to need to visualize what success is going to look like. In order to be entered into the contest, your poster must meet the following requirements:
- It must be family friendly. (I’m a responsible uncle and I don’t want my nephew getting the wrong ideas.)
- It must utilize the picture I have inserted below.
- Add your picture to the comment section. Be sure to include your contact information so I can notify you of victory
- Do a Fantastic job so that you can win an Autographed picture of me.
Once all of the entries are collected, they will be narrowed down to a short list to be voted on by you, the readers and now contributors to this journey.
Haiku Humpday
On a closing note, I want to leave you with a Haiku (thanks Tom). At first we were confused between words and syllables. The first iteration is as follows
Summer longing bred disappointing prospects
Hope arises through adulterer’s newly single vixen
Giraffe-like, I dine on rainbows.
And for the corrected Syllable-based version
Elins new start
Becomes my chance, giraffe like
I dine on rainbows
Without further ado, I’m signing off. Thanks for tuning in.
Day 9: No news is good news (they tell me). Did get major boost in national support. I think I can, I think I can
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